Forgetfulness

Sometimes I forget how much I'm loved.
And then my mom bends over backward to let me use a car to hang out with my friends.
And my dad drives a car he hates driving so I can be safe on a road trip. But he makes me pay for gas and clean out the car, which although frustrating, shows that he loves me enough to try to teach me responsibility.
And then friends give me the most wonderful and meaningful presents...which I never expected to get, sometimes knowing that it's something small that will just make me laugh or smile...sometimes knowing that the gift is actually kind of valuable and that I'd not be able to afford it on my own....
And a friend will listen to me rant for the millionth time about something that's bothering me.

Sometimes I forget that people actually want to spend time with me.
And then someone just sits, contented to be with me while I work.
And then someone volunteers to help me with something they don't actually know how to do.
And someone pours out their heart to me until 5 am.

Sometimes I forget that the words I say have impact.
And then my precious sisters ask for my advice...and actually follow it.
And then a friend bursts out laughing at the ridiculousness that comes out of my mouth.
And then sometimes a dear friend is hurt...unintentionally, but hurt nonetheless.

Sometimes I forget how lucky I am.
And then I look around my living room at all the pictures on the wall.
And I see my family and friends.
And I am overwhelmed with love for the beautiful people that I know.
And I thank God for my life.

What if...

What if dreams were real?
What if there were countless alternate realities and parallel universes?
And everything you dreamed about yourself or the people you know was really a window into one of those universes?
What if there was a mental link between all of your selves which is what would allow you to see some of the things that happen to them?
What if this mental link could allow all the mental selves to meet on an astral plane where you could meet all of the versions of yourself?
What if they could answer your what ifs, because for them, it's reality?

What if?

Yay life

So it's not really a secret that I recently started depression medication.
I was pretty nervous about it...I had no idea how I would feel...what it would do to me...
The first couple weeks were definitely strange...
but it's been almost a month now and it's amazing how different I feel. I haven't been stressed out by anything, I haven't been over-worried about anything...and I've been pretty happy.
I was worried about the kind of different I would be. And I think that to some extent I am different, but what I feel like has changed is that I feel more free to do the things, ridiculous things sometimes...to say random things in random voices...to start dancing the "I don't care" dance...which I may or may not have made up...
I feel like I can breathe.